The Battle of Beddington

2 Jul

The bombardment began, at the Battle of Beddington,

One wet weekend when weariness waned,

As cheeky couch quarrels concluded in conflict

On treacherous textile terrain.

 

The Eiderdown Infantry intercepted intelligence

Of rivals plotting landmines at lunch,

But the Bolster Battalion’s booby trapped bunker

Plotted a pulverising pillow punch.

 

Frenzied fire over the futon frontline

Triggers a teddy trench trauma,

Ammunition ambush, an armchair assault,

And a Dutch wife dugout drama.

 

Disperse and duck down behind dining room debris,

The beanbag barricade’s blown!

The illustrious incident, at the Battle of Beddington,

Where wakefulness was overthrown.

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